Nothing exciting is happening in my life but I will distract you from that thought by writing more about Eurovision.

I was so underwhelmed by the Russian song that won Eurovision that I couldn't even be bothered to tell you about it until now. So yes; the country that formerly ruled over half of all the other countries competing got most of the points, not a huge surprise there. I think there needs to be a Eurovision and then a separate Sovietvision. Sovietvision could fill the stage with as many awkward male figure skaters and babes dressed as demon-strippers as their hearts desired. Obviously sovietvision would be more interesting to watch, but the "old Europe" could also stop being so damn sore and start doing good in their own contest again. Because in a contest centered around bad taste extravaganza, northwestern europe just doesn't stand a chance against the former soviet union.

Anyway, Björg and I had a jolly good time watching, I lost count of how many times I said "what the fuck! Azerbaijan? What is this! they just became a country! They do not even count as a country! No one ever talks about Azerbaijan! What the fuck can possibly be going on there that makes them think up musical performances such as this one?!?! AZERBAIJAN..?"



Azerbaijan got a shitload of points and left me completely speechless. Iceland did not get very many points at all. That's fine because our song was awful, but so were most of the other ones, awful songs being the whole point of this game.

Speaking of songs that didn't win Eurovision, I heard that Moldova, the poorest country in Europe, made their performers pay all of their own expenses as punishment for not getting into the finals. That is some serious harsh shit, and makes me wonder: WHY do they not just send their own amazing Dan Bălan (possibly the only Moldovan person anyone in the rest of the world has heard of) to compete? this song would have kicked eurovision's ass (only made better by the fact that he used to be part of a doom metal band):



My favorite non-winning eurovision song of all time was this Latvian song from 2000.



They did come third so they don't really count as having done badly. However I have here what is possibly the best song to ever come last in the Eurovision song contest. The performers are Telex from Belgium. This took place in 1980, and with it I conclude this entirely unnecessary but entertaining (if only for me) study and discussion of the glorious phenomenon that is the Eurovision Song Contest.



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I work a lot these days at my summer job. At work I play a daily game called "do everything possible to avoid having to sit by the phone and take phone calls from angry sailors." So I've been making skipper certificates, binding books of reports on the financial situation of harbors and putting pieces of paper in envelopes.

I also play a game called "eat something at lunch today that you normally would never eat". So far I have eaten some shrimp, some pork, and giant bright-blue guillemot eggs. or auk eggs, or svarfuglsegg, I think it's all the same in english and you're not going to know which bird i'm referring to so think about penguins. or look at this:



I also play a game called "eat as much as is humanly possible at lunch."

I work here.

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Today after I worked I swam.

I swam for a while with Björg in our giant local outdoor pool in the magical time that is the late evening sunshine of magical Iceland. Swimming is better when you can wave to your friend under water as you pass each other. I swam until I thought my heart would explode and my lungs would collapse and then we sat in the seawater-pool and now I am soft and clean and lotioned and shiny and exhausted on my bed with my cat.

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That was me trying to make you think that my life is nice.

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And there was an earthquake. The building I work in cracked. I thought I would die for a few seconds. nothing bad happened to me or anyone I know. bad things happened to a lot of people is some towns south or Reykjavík. Some of them don't exactly have real homes anymore. No one died.

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Good Night.

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p.s.

spain:

GIANT EPIC EUROVISION YOUTUBE POST FOR THE POOR AMERICANS WHO ARE MISSING OUT

Before I begin my epic post on the epic event that is the Eurovision Song Contest, here is a quick update:

I miraculously completed every single one of my 7 courses despite having been an epic wreck the later half of the semester. I got good grades, which is even more miraculous than having completed them all. I am clearly a magician.

I came back home to Reykjavík early Monday morning and have since then been taking it easy; reading, eating, driving around and swimming in my wonderful local pool which looks like this:



In an attempt to expand on my taking-it-easy I turned on the TV this morning, to discover that I have only one channel (the icelandic national broadcasting service). The last time I was here, we at least had two channels. Now we have one. Can you imagine that, american readers? having only one channel on your TV? No you probably can't. Not being able to channel surf when something boring comes on? unthinkable.

Luckily for me this morning a rerun of the 1st part of eurovision was on. The Eurovision Song Contest is a big televised event where each European country taking part sends in a song to be performed live on stage. Everyone votes and the song that gets the most points wins. The country that wins usually hosts the contest the following year. The contest has been held since 1956 and since then 49 countries have taken part at least once (the continent of Europe contains approximately 50 countries at the moment). I don't know of any other event that unites a whole continent in front of their television screens simultaneously to watch the same live event, so this is pretty special. In the past few years though, since those "eccentric" eastern-european countries started taking part, the contest has become too big for just one long show so now we have all these semi-finals and shit, making the whole thing far less exciting since poor Iceland never gets through to the finals due to lack of "friend-countries" (political voting is kind of big in this game). Thanks a lot eastern-europe mafia.

I grew up waiting anxiously for that Saturday night in May when my family would gather around the TV with snacks and my own homemade scoreboards to watch sparkly people sing in various kinds of gibberish on stage.

It was later that I found out that the music is mostly terrible eurotrash and almost no one who takes part is actually famous, which answered my question "why doesn't Björk just take part because she would obviously win".

I have however accepted these truths (and there are always a couple of exceptions to them anyway) and will proudly watch the semi-final tomorrow night and then the final this weekend. Except I'll be feeling proud to be european rather than Icelandic; our song sucks. It sucks so much that I'm too embarrassed to post it. Instead, here is my favorite song this year:

Sebastian Tellier for France, 2008


Following is my second favourite, although it takes a while to really start. But they have a chicken on stage. and farmers.

Bosnia & Herzegovina 2008


Some ofther notable 2008 entries are:

Spain


Belgium


Yeah I have no idea.


Iceland has been taking part whenever we could since our 1986 debut, Gleðibankinn:


My favorite of our contributiousn were the 1990 duet "eitt lag enn"
which got 4th place:


And when we sent Iceland's nr. 1 gay icon, Páll Óskar, to compete in 1997, way before being gay was trendy and before everyone accepted that eurovision is actually just a big homo fest. Eurovision still being in the closet back then, we got no points and 20th place.



Now, I just want to end with some notable Eurovision contest winners from the beginning:

France Gall for Luxembourg in 1965,
Serge Gainsbourg wrote her song:


ABBA with Waterloo for Sweden in 1974,
the second most famous act to ever compete:


Israel in 1978,
catchiest song ever, I could sing "A-ba-ni-bi" before I even knew what Israel was:


Johnny Logan for Ireland in 1980,
he went on to win eurovision 3 times. And he's hot:


Celine Dion for Switzerland in 1988,
the most famous person who ever competed:


Dana International for Israel in 1998,
THE FIRST TRANSSEXUAL TO WIN EUROVISION:


Ruslana for Ukraine in 2004,
mostly notable because me and my friends had our Eurovision party in a summer house and had to take shots every time the country we were rooting for got points. I was rooting for Serbia&Montenegro which came in 2nd place so I got very drunk. I always knew this song was better, I just didn't want to pass out before I knew who won:


And finally, Lordi for Finland in 2006,
FIRST BLACKMETAL BAND TO WIN EUROVISION:




I assume that by now every single one of my American readers is dying to be European. Yeah I would be too if I were you.

I'll let you know who wins this time around.