DO WHAT I SAY

Play both of the following two youtube videos at once,

BUT! this is important: mute the first one (by clicking on the volume button or turning the volume all the way down) and listen to the soundtrack of the second one while looking at the first one. I guarantee greatness.







---

I've been lousy at updating recently. That is because I've been trying to be a real person with a normal life. It's going okay, I'm still failing at some fundamental things though.

I had this conversation the other day at a "party":

dude: "Hi Júlía"

me: "hi...?"

dude: "do you recognize me?"

me: "no I'm so sorry! I suck at recognizing people. who are you?"

dude: "my name is ______, we used to be friends on myspace, I came to your video store sometimes..."

me: "Oh I do remember you! I'm sorry, I don't even use myspace anymore. My account more or less stopped working. I'm actually pretty upset... having been a registered user since early 2004 I felt like they owed me something and this was just betrayal"

dude: "I think myspace just sensed that you needed to get off the computer and out of the house. you had spent too much time on it and it said "stop, no more myspace for you, get out of the house, go to a party, get a life". that's why this conversation is happening"

me: "that is completely true! now I understand everything."

News that have nothing to do with Eurovision.

A polar bear swam over to Iceland this morning after hanging out on some ice that was floating around. The polar bear has been shot now. I was hoping they would capture it for our "zoo" but that would probably never happen, unless a baby polar bear decided to swim over. Better to know of a dead polar bear than a hungry live polar bear roaming around in the fog.



---

We're still having more earthquakes. And by "we" I mean "those people down south". I can't feel anything. My dad had written an article for the paper that was supposed to be published the day after the big earthquake. The next morning over breakfast he said:

"Typical. The one time in my life I decide to write for the paper they make an earthquake and fill the paper with it to prevent my article form getting printed."

mom: "why aren't you using the right bowls for the oatmeal?"

dad: "there was an earthquake. everything broke. we have no other bowls."

mom: "that's not true. nothing broke. you just didn't do the dishes last night did you..."

dad: "there was an earthquake. I was unable to do the dishes."

mom: "oh stop it."

the article was printed the following day.

---

"all those picassos and stuff" -on art and animal cruelty

I was going to write a real thing about this but I am too lazy and it is too late so I am just going to paste the (splendid) instant messenger conversation I just with Alex Fitzgerald about the matter. I did edit it for easier reading.

Before you start I want to say: I have my own very firm opinions about what should and shouldn't be done with animals. I'm not going to get into it too much, but if you want to discuss it with me you are welcome. I just want to clarify that I do like dogs. I am just not delusional about them. I also think that hippie americans should leave people who have a tradition of whaling (=iceland (japan, etc.)) ALONE. just wanted to throw that in there. ok here's what i'm talking about:

alxfitzgerald

At the costa rican bienarte, this one artist tied a dog he had found on the street to a wall, and wrote "you are what you read"

in dog biscuits on the other side of the gallery

and then he took pictures of all the people standing there at the opening not doing anything about the dog

and then he let the dog go, but he led the people to believe that it had died

and everyone on the internet has gotten incredibly worked up about it

because people like to pretend they care about things on the internet


Júlía

oh blah


alxfitzgerald

but anyway, I joined the facebook group today, after a 5th invitation

and I stated my opinion in how it was a successful piece, and that too many of the people in this group had gone as far as threatening to kill the artist without doing the proper research to find out that the dog lived, and that while people are investing all their efforts into this one not dead dog, there are thousands of dying dogs no one is thinking about right now. And I also talked about the fact that the petition for this one dog has over 2 million signatures while the petitions against the mass slaughter of tens of thousands of strays in romania didn't even get 20,000

and now I am getting facebook hate mail


Júlía

people can be so hysterical


alxfitzgerald

and seriously, if I read "HE COULD HAVE PAINTED IT OR MADE A SCULPTURE"

one more time

I think I might cry

for all of humanity


Júlía

I want to join the group just so I can tell them they are dumb

and that they probably EAT MISTREATED ANIMALS EVERY DAY


alxfitzgerald

BUT THOSE ARE NOT DOGS JULIA

OTHER ANIMALS DON'T COUNT


Júlía

and what about the dude at the tate modern with the goldfish in the blender

and everyone else who starves themselves or others or pretends to do so as performance art

are they gonna make petitions about that too


alxfitzgerald

I want to start a group about that

WHAT ABOUT HERMAN NITSCH

I should post that in there


Júlía

i wanna write them all sorts of things

"your mom is “art”"

"your mom is an “artist”"

“dogs suck and they need to die”


alxfitzgerald

"i feel really bad if the owner had lost the dog and then this guy took it and did that to him. i mean, the dog has to come from somewhere......" -group member


Júlía

they are so stupid.

there are probably more stray dogs than people over there. like in so many other places. they just hang out in the street and suffer and starve.


alxfitzgerald

I KNOW

also, I love the ones who are like “I JUST WANT TO GO OVER TO THE GALLERY AND CUT THE ROPE AND SAVE IT”

this happened in 2007.

it lasted for a day.

" Abbey Interrante (Milton High School) wrote: you know i think that the mona lisa and all those picassos and stuff are pretty good art and nothing died in the process of making those, why does a dog have to die for this! this is sad!!!!!!"


Júlía

i am going to start referring to good art only as "all those picassos and stuff"


alxfitzgerald

I want to go to MoMA

and just say "he's not bob ross" and "these definitely aren't as good as all those picassos and stuff"

siríus

A boy and a girl are driving in the middle of nowhere. The girl is Icelandic and the boy is American, although he has lived in Iceland for a good amount of time.

boy: mmm I really want some Siríus chocolate.
girl: ...you want some serious chocolate?
boy: no, I want some SIRÍUS chocolate.
girl: yes... you just said that. serious chocolate?
boy: no, I'm talking about, you know, SIRÍUS chocolate!
girl: what do you mean you want serious chocolate! what kind of chocolate is serious chocolate?!
boy: not serious, SIRÍUS!! you know, our favorite!
girl: ...
....
..
.......oh... oh! you mean siRíus!


boy: yes! I'm sorry. I can't roll my Rs.