FOOTBALL

There is another polar bear. maybe I should make this a polar bear blog. I will only post when polar bears swim over to iceland.

maybe not. they are keeping this one alive. when they shot the previous bear 12 days ago everyone said "no this was bad. polar bears are endangered. shame on you. we will not kill another one (but we wont have to deal with that because it will be decades until another one swims over)."

WRONG.

as soon as they decided to not kill any more bears the bears heard and now they are all flocking over here to frolic on the northern coast and eat ducks. the north pole is melting. they need a new home. and we have plenty of ducks. the bear is calmly eating ducks on a beach right outside of a farm up north as i write this. tomorrow professional polar-bear-catching-specialists will arrive and catch him and safely take him to greenland where he can calmly eat inuits on icy beaches.

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I still have only one channel and this one channel broadcasts the 2008 European Football championship all day every day. Having no other choice than to watch that, I have become a major football fan. My favorite player is Zlatan Ibrahimowhic on the swedish team because he is the only one I know by name. Ofcourse the best swedish player looks super Jewy.



As for the teams, I am rooting for the Netherlands because their costumes are so amazing. orange shirts, white shorts and BABY BLUE KNEESOCKS.



and ofcourse, both zlatan and the dutch are really fucking good at football.

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I have started to miss new york slightly. New York City is the geographical equivalent of an abusive boyfriend who is really good looking and charming in the beginning but always makes me feel like shit after a couple of months, until i leave him and then some time passes and all of a sudden he looks hot and charming again.

Reykjavík doesn't make me feel like shit, it just makes me feel bored and tired and maybe sad every now and then but mostly bored and tired. and full and happy and rested too. my job just sucks. i pretend that it doesnt but it really does. it just happens to be what i do all day 5 days a week. i will have to pretend for 2 more months. and sell my soul for money.

oh by the way.

New York weather:



Reykjavík weather:



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there is no iceland team competing in the euro 2008 football championship but Icelanders can still play pretty decent football. Yesterday they produced the happiest, gayest football photograph ever anyway. today at work when i wanted to cry and murder i just looked at this photo.



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tomorrow: day off. roadtrip.

News that have nothing to do with Eurovision.

A polar bear swam over to Iceland this morning after hanging out on some ice that was floating around. The polar bear has been shot now. I was hoping they would capture it for our "zoo" but that would probably never happen, unless a baby polar bear decided to swim over. Better to know of a dead polar bear than a hungry live polar bear roaming around in the fog.



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We're still having more earthquakes. And by "we" I mean "those people down south". I can't feel anything. My dad had written an article for the paper that was supposed to be published the day after the big earthquake. The next morning over breakfast he said:

"Typical. The one time in my life I decide to write for the paper they make an earthquake and fill the paper with it to prevent my article form getting printed."

mom: "why aren't you using the right bowls for the oatmeal?"

dad: "there was an earthquake. everything broke. we have no other bowls."

mom: "that's not true. nothing broke. you just didn't do the dishes last night did you..."

dad: "there was an earthquake. I was unable to do the dishes."

mom: "oh stop it."

the article was printed the following day.

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Nothing exciting is happening in my life but I will distract you from that thought by writing more about Eurovision.

I was so underwhelmed by the Russian song that won Eurovision that I couldn't even be bothered to tell you about it until now. So yes; the country that formerly ruled over half of all the other countries competing got most of the points, not a huge surprise there. I think there needs to be a Eurovision and then a separate Sovietvision. Sovietvision could fill the stage with as many awkward male figure skaters and babes dressed as demon-strippers as their hearts desired. Obviously sovietvision would be more interesting to watch, but the "old Europe" could also stop being so damn sore and start doing good in their own contest again. Because in a contest centered around bad taste extravaganza, northwestern europe just doesn't stand a chance against the former soviet union.

Anyway, Björg and I had a jolly good time watching, I lost count of how many times I said "what the fuck! Azerbaijan? What is this! they just became a country! They do not even count as a country! No one ever talks about Azerbaijan! What the fuck can possibly be going on there that makes them think up musical performances such as this one?!?! AZERBAIJAN..?"



Azerbaijan got a shitload of points and left me completely speechless. Iceland did not get very many points at all. That's fine because our song was awful, but so were most of the other ones, awful songs being the whole point of this game.

Speaking of songs that didn't win Eurovision, I heard that Moldova, the poorest country in Europe, made their performers pay all of their own expenses as punishment for not getting into the finals. That is some serious harsh shit, and makes me wonder: WHY do they not just send their own amazing Dan Bălan (possibly the only Moldovan person anyone in the rest of the world has heard of) to compete? this song would have kicked eurovision's ass (only made better by the fact that he used to be part of a doom metal band):



My favorite non-winning eurovision song of all time was this Latvian song from 2000.



They did come third so they don't really count as having done badly. However I have here what is possibly the best song to ever come last in the Eurovision song contest. The performers are Telex from Belgium. This took place in 1980, and with it I conclude this entirely unnecessary but entertaining (if only for me) study and discussion of the glorious phenomenon that is the Eurovision Song Contest.



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I work a lot these days at my summer job. At work I play a daily game called "do everything possible to avoid having to sit by the phone and take phone calls from angry sailors." So I've been making skipper certificates, binding books of reports on the financial situation of harbors and putting pieces of paper in envelopes.

I also play a game called "eat something at lunch today that you normally would never eat". So far I have eaten some shrimp, some pork, and giant bright-blue guillemot eggs. or auk eggs, or svarfuglsegg, I think it's all the same in english and you're not going to know which bird i'm referring to so think about penguins. or look at this:



I also play a game called "eat as much as is humanly possible at lunch."

I work here.

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Today after I worked I swam.

I swam for a while with Björg in our giant local outdoor pool in the magical time that is the late evening sunshine of magical Iceland. Swimming is better when you can wave to your friend under water as you pass each other. I swam until I thought my heart would explode and my lungs would collapse and then we sat in the seawater-pool and now I am soft and clean and lotioned and shiny and exhausted on my bed with my cat.

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That was me trying to make you think that my life is nice.

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And there was an earthquake. The building I work in cracked. I thought I would die for a few seconds. nothing bad happened to me or anyone I know. bad things happened to a lot of people is some towns south or Reykjavík. Some of them don't exactly have real homes anymore. No one died.

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Good Night.

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p.s.
The Russian dude who won eurovision looks like this:

Thanks Charlie.

His figure skater looks like this:



This is what everyone should have looked like (but only spain succeeded):

GIANT EPIC EUROVISION YOUTUBE POST FOR THE POOR AMERICANS WHO ARE MISSING OUT

Before I begin my epic post on the epic event that is the Eurovision Song Contest, here is a quick update:

I miraculously completed every single one of my 7 courses despite having been an epic wreck the later half of the semester. I got good grades, which is even more miraculous than having completed them all. I am clearly a magician.

I came back home to Reykjavík early Monday morning and have since then been taking it easy; reading, eating, driving around and swimming in my wonderful local pool which looks like this:



In an attempt to expand on my taking-it-easy I turned on the TV this morning, to discover that I have only one channel (the icelandic national broadcasting service). The last time I was here, we at least had two channels. Now we have one. Can you imagine that, american readers? having only one channel on your TV? No you probably can't. Not being able to channel surf when something boring comes on? unthinkable.

Luckily for me this morning a rerun of the 1st part of eurovision was on. The Eurovision Song Contest is a big televised event where each European country taking part sends in a song to be performed live on stage. Everyone votes and the song that gets the most points wins. The country that wins usually hosts the contest the following year. The contest has been held since 1956 and since then 49 countries have taken part at least once (the continent of Europe contains approximately 50 countries at the moment). I don't know of any other event that unites a whole continent in front of their television screens simultaneously to watch the same live event, so this is pretty special. In the past few years though, since those "eccentric" eastern-european countries started taking part, the contest has become too big for just one long show so now we have all these semi-finals and shit, making the whole thing far less exciting since poor Iceland never gets through to the finals due to lack of "friend-countries" (political voting is kind of big in this game). Thanks a lot eastern-europe mafia.

I grew up waiting anxiously for that Saturday night in May when my family would gather around the TV with snacks and my own homemade scoreboards to watch sparkly people sing in various kinds of gibberish on stage.

It was later that I found out that the music is mostly terrible eurotrash and almost no one who takes part is actually famous, which answered my question "why doesn't Björk just take part because she would obviously win".

I have however accepted these truths (and there are always a couple of exceptions to them anyway) and will proudly watch the semi-final tomorrow night and then the final this weekend. Except I'll be feeling proud to be european rather than Icelandic; our song sucks. It sucks so much that I'm too embarrassed to post it. Instead, here is my favorite song this year:

Sebastian Tellier for France, 2008


Following is my second favourite, although it takes a while to really start. But they have a chicken on stage. and farmers.

Bosnia & Herzegovina 2008


Some ofther notable 2008 entries are:

Spain


Belgium


Yeah I have no idea.


Iceland has been taking part whenever we could since our 1986 debut, Gleðibankinn:


My favorite of our contributiousn were the 1990 duet "eitt lag enn"
which got 4th place:


And when we sent Iceland's nr. 1 gay icon, Páll Óskar, to compete in 1997, way before being gay was trendy and before everyone accepted that eurovision is actually just a big homo fest. Eurovision still being in the closet back then, we got no points and 20th place.



Now, I just want to end with some notable Eurovision contest winners from the beginning:

France Gall for Luxembourg in 1965,
Serge Gainsbourg wrote her song:


ABBA with Waterloo for Sweden in 1974,
the second most famous act to ever compete:


Israel in 1978,
catchiest song ever, I could sing "A-ba-ni-bi" before I even knew what Israel was:


Johnny Logan for Ireland in 1980,
he went on to win eurovision 3 times. And he's hot:


Celine Dion for Switzerland in 1988,
the most famous person who ever competed:


Dana International for Israel in 1998,
THE FIRST TRANSSEXUAL TO WIN EUROVISION:


Ruslana for Ukraine in 2004,
mostly notable because me and my friends had our Eurovision party in a summer house and had to take shots every time the country we were rooting for got points. I was rooting for Serbia&Montenegro which came in 2nd place so I got very drunk. I always knew this song was better, I just didn't want to pass out before I knew who won:


And finally, Lordi for Finland in 2006,
FIRST BLACKMETAL BAND TO WIN EUROVISION:




I assume that by now every single one of my American readers is dying to be European. Yeah I would be too if I were you.

I'll let you know who wins this time around.

nice

Last night
I walked so much
that I got blisters under my feet
it was nice.
The weather was nice.
I ate pizza before and ice-cream and beer afterwards.

I wish the weather was always nice in Iceland
because I am going there soon.

I just got a scallion-cream-cheese-bacon-tomato bagel.
It is nice.

I saw my school's illustration senior show
and the fine arts senior show too
last night.
Illustration won.
This was comforting.

I am somewhat redeeming myself from constantly feeling like shit
I think
mostly because the semester will be over soon.
It is nice.
But I wish I hadn't felt so shitty most of the semester,
it ruined it.

What I found at the bookstore this week.

Stopped by at st. mark's bookshop on my walk home the other day. Got curious about this book just because it was all about female musicians and I myself happen to identify somewhat with female musicians. Björk was in it, she got 2 pages. And then look who I randomly found in the last chapter. It's something about stylish people who go watch bands play. I was at an Ecstatic Sunshine/ Dirty Projectors show in my hood that particular night. But of course the book says something completely different and nonsensical. I got 1 whole page though. Therefore I am now 50% as famous as Björk.

Oh and I had to pay $30 for this, what a lousy deal.

I am this forever

I suck at photographing my work at the moment. sorry.

p.s. approx. 12x16 inches, graphite + watercolor + pen and ink + brush and ink. I'm not sure why people always seem to want to know these things.

smell report

At the end of a semester such as this one, when I am generally freaking out about own failure at life and too busy distracting myself/paralyzed with worry to take showers, I move around in an aroma-cloud of baby powder, tea-tree oil, sugary lime juice and "stinky soap" (someone used this to refer to Dove as in the brand of my deodorant).

I'm not sure if I would rather smell like girly sweat or stinky soap. The other aromas are all pretty fun and addictive to me.

Just in case you were wondering.

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In other news, it is almost time for the 10 year anniversary of the oldest (known) documentation of my presence on the internet. I just came across this while googling myself looking for something else. What I am referring to is my signature in the Lion King Guestbook in 1998 (I was 11). I only wrote my name and where I was from. Because that was all you usually wrote in old school, tangible guestbooks as a kid. Somewhere in the middle of this page, May 20th 1998. I like the fact that the person who wrote after me is named Sami and is from Nokia, Finland.





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this has been me trying to distract myself. I am now going to switch over to J.D.Salinger as a method of distraction.

"all those picassos and stuff" -on art and animal cruelty

I was going to write a real thing about this but I am too lazy and it is too late so I am just going to paste the (splendid) instant messenger conversation I just with Alex Fitzgerald about the matter. I did edit it for easier reading.

Before you start I want to say: I have my own very firm opinions about what should and shouldn't be done with animals. I'm not going to get into it too much, but if you want to discuss it with me you are welcome. I just want to clarify that I do like dogs. I am just not delusional about them. I also think that hippie americans should leave people who have a tradition of whaling (=iceland (japan, etc.)) ALONE. just wanted to throw that in there. ok here's what i'm talking about:

alxfitzgerald

At the costa rican bienarte, this one artist tied a dog he had found on the street to a wall, and wrote "you are what you read"

in dog biscuits on the other side of the gallery

and then he took pictures of all the people standing there at the opening not doing anything about the dog

and then he let the dog go, but he led the people to believe that it had died

and everyone on the internet has gotten incredibly worked up about it

because people like to pretend they care about things on the internet


Júlía

oh blah


alxfitzgerald

but anyway, I joined the facebook group today, after a 5th invitation

and I stated my opinion in how it was a successful piece, and that too many of the people in this group had gone as far as threatening to kill the artist without doing the proper research to find out that the dog lived, and that while people are investing all their efforts into this one not dead dog, there are thousands of dying dogs no one is thinking about right now. And I also talked about the fact that the petition for this one dog has over 2 million signatures while the petitions against the mass slaughter of tens of thousands of strays in romania didn't even get 20,000

and now I am getting facebook hate mail


Júlía

people can be so hysterical


alxfitzgerald

and seriously, if I read "HE COULD HAVE PAINTED IT OR MADE A SCULPTURE"

one more time

I think I might cry

for all of humanity


Júlía

I want to join the group just so I can tell them they are dumb

and that they probably EAT MISTREATED ANIMALS EVERY DAY


alxfitzgerald

BUT THOSE ARE NOT DOGS JULIA

OTHER ANIMALS DON'T COUNT


Júlía

and what about the dude at the tate modern with the goldfish in the blender

and everyone else who starves themselves or others or pretends to do so as performance art

are they gonna make petitions about that too


alxfitzgerald

I want to start a group about that

WHAT ABOUT HERMAN NITSCH

I should post that in there


Júlía

i wanna write them all sorts of things

"your mom is “art”"

"your mom is an “artist”"

“dogs suck and they need to die”


alxfitzgerald

"i feel really bad if the owner had lost the dog and then this guy took it and did that to him. i mean, the dog has to come from somewhere......" -group member


Júlía

they are so stupid.

there are probably more stray dogs than people over there. like in so many other places. they just hang out in the street and suffer and starve.


alxfitzgerald

I KNOW

also, I love the ones who are like “I JUST WANT TO GO OVER TO THE GALLERY AND CUT THE ROPE AND SAVE IT”

this happened in 2007.

it lasted for a day.

" Abbey Interrante (Milton High School) wrote: you know i think that the mona lisa and all those picassos and stuff are pretty good art and nothing died in the process of making those, why does a dog have to die for this! this is sad!!!!!!"


Júlía

i am going to start referring to good art only as "all those picassos and stuff"


alxfitzgerald

I want to go to MoMA

and just say "he's not bob ross" and "these definitely aren't as good as all those picassos and stuff"

fail time.

I've been eternally sick. sickety sick sick. not cold and flu sick, mystery sick. It just keeps coming back. I went to the doctor's yesterday and they took my blood out of me and then I felt even shittier because I don't have a lot of it already. So I'm on the verge of failing all of my classes on attendance. I need some crazy miracle to happen for me to pass them all. If you are doing some kind of voodoo on me you can stop now. You have succeeded.

They're going to let me know if they can solve the mystery of what exactly is wrong with me in 2 weeks. great. that helps. I already waited 3 weeks to see a doctor and by the time they get back to me I'll be going home in 2 weeks. To iceland where there are real doctors who actually talk to you.

This makes me want to give up on america but i am not going to. But I want to go home and hibernate and have my mamma take care of me and make me oatmeal and boiled fish.

maybe my poor icelandic cells are just suffering from a lack of good fat white fish. maybe that's all i need to make me strong. and homegrown boiled potatoes with melted butter on top. maybe that will stop me from wasting away.










I'm sad.