it is my tradition to write very long stories on february 15th

Today is Valentines day. Actually, it stopped 2 hours ago.

this day had the reoccurring event of people being awkward/weird/rude with me because I'm foreign. this usually doesn't happen that often. today it happened 3 times. it made me really upset so i couldn't go do this thing I was excited to go do (read funny love letter written to me by crazy teenage drug addict that i barely knew. I was going to read it in a room full of bitter feminists).

instead Rachael and I made vegetable-themed miniature valentines day cards for mama's food shop (small enough so you can roll them up inside a dollar bill without it being noticeable), got a huge pile of banana cream pie, snuck the card into their tip jar and drank beer while reading aloud to each other from a funny book.

there is actually just one person I would make out with at mama's food shop and he wasn't even there that night. he was somewhere else, living the mystery that is his life outside of his job, wearing black, smoking cigarettes, walking like he was born on a horse.

---

here is what happened since I wrote that last part:
(Andrew's boyfriend is having a valentines day party. I told them I wasn't coming because I was going to sleep)
Andrew called and said: there is such an attractive straight boy here. come over right now.
I got there in literally one second.
I did not find the boy attractive at all,
still, I would describe him as pretty.
He did not look like a cat.
He looked more like a koala bear.





A year ago I wrote a big angry essay on valentines day. I sort of still feel the same so I will show you some excerpts.

"I had a boyfriend once (can you imagine, that must have been like in the stone age)."

"I used to hate [...] flowers and advised everyone to rather try to impress the objects of their desire with potted plants, or cake."

"The mice under my bed sound like they are the size of cats."

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Rachael and I did not get any valentine's day cards, or poems. So we decided to go through Rachael's cell phone and look for text messages that could pass as poems. Here's what we got:

Lonely pilot on valentines day

i took the hovercraft for a spin at the park
i was the only person there with a hovercraft
everyone had like a dog
or some shit animal.

-joni


nina simone

nina simone
also shot her neighbor's son
because he was laughing
when she was concentrating
on piano.

-singer

where should I go during my trip to Israel?

choose googoo for gaza!
you will go to the gaza strip
with an american flag covered tour bus.

-joni