He has killed a lot of animals in his lifetime but mostly lizards

I need to tell you about one of my classes. It is one of my favorite classes; a writing and drawing class called picture-story workshop. One of the great things about this class is Ben Katchor. He is the teacher. Another great thing is this AMAZING little korean girl who has not failed to bring all the best stories so far. What makes them so good is that they're sort of unintentionally amazing. She just sort of hangs out in the corners all shy and polite and quiet and cute and then she opens her mouth and amazing things come out with her polite and quiet voice.

example 1:

we had to interview a subject of our choice and she interviewed her male friend. When she was a few seconds into her account of the interview I manically started writing down some excerpts from it (this girl does not actually look like the freak of nature child-humans that i like to draw during class)



I will elaborate for you:

"He was bragging about his digestive system and how it is so good. He has great control over his digestive system and can relieve himself whenever he likes or hold it in for days. He has killed a lot of animals in his lifetime but mostly lizards and other cold blooded animals. He fears lizards and other cold blooded animals. He was in the Korean army and there he killed many lizards and snakes. A dream he remembers is him dreaming of himself dreaming."

And then the dude drew a picture of A CRUCIFIED MACBOOK AIR WITH A MACBOOK PRO LOOKING AT IT SAYING "MACBOOK AIR SUCKS!"

I want nothing more now than for this young man to be my friend. he can brag about his digestive system all he wants and kill me some lizards.

example 2:

we had to write a story about our "life of crime." I wrote a really boring story about dairy products because I am too much of a wuss to write about anything interesting/ too innocent to have committed any serious crimes. failure.

but SHE starts talking and it goes something like "well I had a boyfriend here but then I went to Korea and had... an encounter with a very nice boy there..."

snap.

so that wasn't too outrageous. but next we had to draw pictures of the crime scene. and this girls picture was possibly the greatest crime scene picture I have ever seen. She didn't give it to me but I tried my best to reproduce her drawing for your viewing pleasure.



and it gets better with the explanations:

Ben Katchor: wait... your hair is completely straight. Why is there an afro in this picture?
awesome girl: oh, this is just to show all the confusion in my mind.
Ben Katchor: so there was striped wallpaper in his room?
awesome girl: no, this is to show how it was like a prison.

I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE... OH NO WHO DO I LOVE! OH NO I HAVE AN AFRO AND I'M GIVING A BLOWJOB IN PRISON.

I will try to be her friend as soon as possible.